It’s Monday, the 24th of May, and we all know what that means: nothing of significance. I’m thirsty. Anyway, you may have heard the story of how Justin Bieber walked into a door last week. Irish broadcasting monolith RTÉ certainly did. And because respectable journalism tends to frown on any kind of personality or humour, their website’s entertainment section was forced to recount the story with nary a smirk or a wink. It really does make for some spectacular reading, so I’ll reprint the whole thing in its entirety here, simply because reading their straight-faced account of the events made me laugh like a drunk mountie. Give credit, or cast gypsy curses, or whatever, onto the sternly-visaged heads of  RTÉ for this incredible piece of journalism, natch.

Bieber hurts head by walking into door

Pop singer Justin Bieber has complained that his head hurts after he accidentally walked into a glass door.

According to Us magazine, the 16-year-old star walked into a revolving door at the hotel, with waiting photographers capturing the accident.

Bieber said: “Yo, what up, I just walked into that door. My forehead hurts.”

“What happened was, I thought it opened, but obviously it didn’t and I walked right into the window.”